Following my last post on our fertility journey, I completed bloodwork and the results came back — our issue seems to be hormonal. This was the news we had hoped to hear. My estrogen and progesterone levels were so low that they were classified as “post-menopausal”. So before doing more tests we would attempt hormone treatment.
My doctor placed me on 50 milligrams of Clomid for the first month. Clomid, which is an estrogen modulator, works by stimulating an increase in the amount of hormones that support the growth and release of a mature egg. We are hoping to conceive within the first three months as treatment with Clomid past six months is not recommended. Due to timing — it is best to take Clomid on days 3 to 7 — I did not begin the medication until Day 5, so treatment was more to start increase estrogen to a more ideal level. The first month was successful in the sense the uterus lining thickened, but no positive test.
Overall there were no negative side effects during the first round. Being a hormonal medication, mood swings are a typical hazard to taking Clomid. However, there can be others that are more concerning like abnormal bleeding, upset stomach, or vision disturbances. I entered Round 2 hopeful at our chances.
In June, I completed my second round with a 100mg dosage taken during days 3 to 7. Round 2 was a whole new game though. Mood swings were off the charts, and it was the strangest sensation I’ve ever felt. I recognized that my emotions were fuming, I knew it was due to the medication, but I could not help how I felt — I wanted everyone to leave me alone. To say I was snippy would be an understatement. Thankfully, Grant understood the side effects of Clomid and I had spoken to my colleagues as well. Those five days felt like forever, but thankfully after Day 7, I began to feel normal again.
Round 2 also introduced me to a new medication, Imogen. Imogen is a follicle stimulating hormone, meaning it stimulates the growth of ovarian follicles in the ovary before the release of an egg from one follicle at ovulation. Following a follicle ultrasound on Day 13, I came home and injected myself with the hormone. This process helps control when eggs are released to better chances of conception.
The follicle ultrasound showed two mature follicles, so the hope was that the Imogen encouraged both to release eggs. This could possibly mean twins, which G and I would happily welcome!
It became a waiting game. At 10 days post-dosage. I took a pregnancy test. It was negative.
I should have then began Round 3. After feeling the way I did during Round 2 of Clomid, I was of the mindset that Round 3 would be my last. A lot of research says there is not much advantage to going past 3 months of taking Clomid, and I definitely did not want to continue feeling like a completely different person with limited guarantee of success.
However, I never got to Round 3. Following the negative pregnancy test, I started to feel some abdominal pain. The pain was sharp enough I went to the doctor where they did another ultrasound. The Clomid unfortunately had caused several ovarian cysts.
I had the choice to postpone Round 3 for a few months for my body to have some rest from the hormonal treatment, but I’ve decided to not continue further. This decision was not made lightly, and I am still dealing with some strong emotions over the situation. It feels as if a door has closed — though I know that is not true. There are plenty of other options G and I may entertain in the future so we might grow our family. But right now, I want to focus on my physical and mental healing with this unsuccessful fertility treatment before moving forward.
With all this said, I want to take a moment to address all those who may be going, have gone, or are facing similar circumstances. I appreciate all the messages sent following my first post a few months ago about our fertility journey. It is unbelievable how many women experience trouble conceiving and/or carrying. It is even more heartbreaking to hear how many suffer in silence, afraid of talking over these very scary and sad, yet very real situations. To those who reached out to share your own stories — thank you. Your pain is valid, and I am so sorry you have had to deal with such heartbreak. If you ever need to chat, I am here.
Leave a Reply