A. W. Slack

The following is my book recommendation for Leave Me Behind by K. M. Moronova.

There’s something in the way he stares at me, like a starved man who’s contemplating a heinous act.

Nell Gallows is the sole survivor of an elite dark forces squad, Riot. She is the top candidate for the special ops team, Malum. To make her new placement more difficult, Malum blames Riot for their squad’s one casualty. Nell finds herself nervous to join what will be a hostile group.

So she decides to enjoy her last night in society with the twins she meets on a plane to California. Unfortunately, she realizes the dark and mysterious man she wants as a fling is her new comrade, Bones. Not only her immediate superior, Bones was partner to the man killed by Riot. He ensures Nell knows his hatred for her as often as possible.

After proving herself in multiple trials, Nell believes she has earned the trust of her new squad. When their mission goes awry, though, she soon finds herself torn between survival and duty. Bones is injured and unable to meet their evacuation point. Does she stay behind with the devil or save herself? Nell’s decision becomes more difficult when she finally learns the dark secrets he’s been keeping.

Whew! This book was a rush. Nell was an engaging character from the very beginning, and the plot was interesting from the start. The setting was intriguing. The concept of an elite dark force was fantastic. I have never ventured into military romance before, but I believe I will be finding similar reads soon. I was pulled in — hook, line, and sinker.

Perhaps I’m still coming out of my disenchantment with Emerson Wilde (#iykyk), but Nell Gallows was a great FMC. She was gritty and decisive and unapologetic. I loved her. Similarly, Bradshaw was a violent, broken MMC with very dark tastes. The tension between them was fun to read, even if a deep emotional connection was lacking.

Speaking of tension, the sexual chemistry between the FMC and MMC was diabolical in all the right ways. Note: I’ve read a few dark romances and the trigger warnings for this book should be acknowledged. Their story is a top-tier bullying romance. A prime example of an enemies-to-lovers trope. I mean, you know you’re walking into enemy territory when a character says, “Hatred and desire aren’t so different. Both are an obsessive, all-consuming emotion. It’s a thin line to walk on.”

Then the tension within the Malum squad is also superb. Nell comes from the Riot squad, where two years prior she was the sole survivor of a mission in Patagonia. Malum lost a comrade, Abram, during the same mission. As the plot progresses, readers find out both squads received conflicting commands that placed both in harm’s way. Unfortunately, that information is not apparent to our characters. Nell goes through hell attempting to prove her worth and win their trust. It’s a wild ride.

Plus, there is tension in the backstories of our main characters. Nell believes she is living on borrowed time. She was the sole survivor of Riot, but she knows that was unintentional. Now she’s racing against the clock to find answers to why her squad was killed and who was the cause. Bradshaw also faces his demise, knowing people like him are not allowed into general society. He intends to be the best soldier possible until he expires. Eren, his twin brother, is bothered by Bradshaw’s awareness but also seems to harbor secrets himself. For such a jovial person, why is he a member of an elite dark force squad? The snowballing plot kept me on the edge of my seat.

Despite liking the two main characters, there was something missing for me. Nell and Bradshaw are broken souls, and they find healing and comfort (sometimes) with one another. Finding the emotional side of their trauma and development was difficult. Their relationship is a roller coaster. They have some really hot, spicy moments. Then Bradshaw became hostile towards Nell again. By the time his redemption arc arrived, I was no longer convinced he could be redeemed. His actions and words felt unbalanced throughout most of the book. For me, the longevity of their relationship is questionable. There is definitely lust between them, but love? I’m not certain.

That lust though — whew. Yes, the chemistry between Nell and Bradshaw is unmatched. However, for a book I felt so entranced by, Leave Me Behind had some unrealistic scenarios for our lovebirds. There is nothing more infuriating to me than inopportune sex scenes. While in hostile environments and being hunted, these two find the time to get cozy? The two people we’ve been informed are the most unemotional, lethal individuals in this elite dark force? Seriously! There were great spicy moments in this book, but some felt forced. I wanted to be given more real, deep interactions that showed the two falling in love. This was lacking.

My only other complaint is the ending. Up to about 85% of the story, this book was a solid 4-star. The twist that causes everything to fall apart? I started to foresee it about halfway through, but kept telling myself, “No, that’d be too outlandish.” Yet, here we are. I don’t want to give anything away. Suffice it to say, I felt character development was derailed and a happily ever after was not plausible.

As I said, this book was a 4-star read up until the last 15%. Even with dropping it to a 3-star rating (maybe a 3.5-star), I still thoroughly enjoyed it. The plot captivated me and the varying tensions throughout kept me coming back for more. Plus, throw in some interesting characters. I’m leaving this book full and satisfied — in a vastly different fashion than Nell though.

WOULD I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO A FRIEND?

Yes, I would recommend this book to friends who enjoy dark romances. I want to acknowledge the trigger warnings for this book. It is a bullying romance with gore and knife play. It may be a bit much for some readers. If that does not deter you, then it’s a fast and fun read. I will most definitely be seeking more books by K. M. Moronova in the future.

Have you read this book? Find me on Instagram @wordsandash and comment on my post there so we can discuss more! (Please do not reveal any spoilers in the comment section here in case other readers still have this book on their #TBR.)

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